


One hour

by Zoya113



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Gift Work, M/M, One Shot, i absolutely stole razussy’s maxon characterisation tho no cap, why maxon got good taste tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:29:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25927411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya113/pseuds/Zoya113
Summary: Mcnamara gets Schaeffer to apologise after starting an argument with one of the Major’s at PEIP. Unfortunately it isn’t that easy.
Relationships: General John McNamara/ Xander Lee
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	One hour

**Author's Note:**

  * For [razussy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/razussy/gifts).



> Maxon rights

“No, because ‘Love yourself’ was a cultural reset, colonel. It was the first kpop chart to hit the billboards in the US and at number one of all places! It’s totally different from their first album too it totally defined their style, you get it, colonel? Hey, colonel, why are you stabbing your tray like that?”

Schaeffer blinked, yanking her knife from her lunch tray and setting it down again. “Major, can you shut up?” She turned to face Maxon, who had been rambling on all lunch about... something. Hell if she knew. “I’m just trying to eat my lunch,” she gestured to her tray. “And you can’t eat yours either if you’re talking the whole time.” 

Maxon paused, putting his fork down. “Oh, don’t you understand?” He asked. “Oh! Sorry, I forgot to mention, I kinda just jumped into it huh? I brushed way too quickly over the Katy Perry numbers. I’ll explain them again for you so you can understand what I’m talking about,” he began, taking in a deep breath she knew would be wasted on talking.

“No, Major,” she stood up. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t even know who Katy is, or BTR or S or whatever it’s called,” she waved her hand dismissively. She’d just go eat in her office. 

“Hah!” He laughed. His laugh was sort of deep, coming right from his stomach. Schaeffer hated being laughed at. “No, BTR and BTS are two very separate bands, I told you it could get confusing!” He smiled. “It’s okay, it is a lot. BTR is big time rush, the American one, BTS is ‘Bangtan Sonyeondan,’ they’re the Korean group i was just talking about!” He tilted his head to invite her to sit back down.

“Major, I said I don’t care.” Ugh. How blunt did she have to be? “I do not want you to continue talking about any of these dumb things,” she elaborated, ignorant to the smile dropping from his face. “You’ve been yapping in my ear all lunch and I can’t stand it, soldier.” With that out in the open, she collected a fresh breath of air before stomping back off to her office, leaving Maxon alone in search of some peace and quiet. 

———————————————————  
“Hey John, can I ask you a favour?” Xander started tentatively as he peered into his husband’s office. 

“Of course you can, Xander, what’s wrong?” John had a bad feeling about it though from Xander’s sort of sneaky half smile. 

“So, there was a bit of a problem in the cafeteria today,” he drummed his nails on John’s desk, he was clearly hoping perhaps John could fill in the blanks himself. 

He put his coffee mug down, leaning back in his chair. “If I guess am I going to be right?” 

“Depends, does your guess start with ‘Schaeffer’ and end with ‘bullied one of the Majors at lunch time?’ Because if so then yes,” he gave an awkward kind of smile. “You don’t think you could use your General card to get her to apologise could you?”

“What happened?” If she had to apologise to everyone she upset they’d be here for a very long time, a lingering sense of dread was building up over him, she must’ve been pretty cruel.

“You know Major Maxon?” Xander asked.

“Yes of course, he’s one of your close friends isn’t he?”

Xander gave a nod. “Yeah, you could say that. He was trying to talk with Schaeffer over lunch about some of the stuff he likes and she told him it was all irrelevant and annoying and he’s been kinda torn up about it since,” he stopped drumming his fingers and slipped them back into his pockets. “Think you could ask her to go make it up to him?”

“Why can’t you?” He did not want to get involved in this mess very much.

“Wow, that’s rich from mister ‘the power of the human heart,’ don’t be a coward babe it’s your platoon!” He held up his hands in defence. “Uh, really though. I think she should apologise.”

“I don’t think she even really knows what ‘sorry’ is,” he grunted as he pulled himself out of his desk chair, leading the way down the hall. 

She was in the gym of course, it seemed beating up that poor punching bag was the only hobby she really had besides like, tying knots. 

“Schaeffer!” He greeted out loud to catch her attention. 

“General,” she greeted back over her shoulder, holding out a hand to grab the punching bag so the chains would stop rattling. “Good evening.”

“So um. I’ve heard through the grape vine,” he started, leaning up against the gym wall in an attempt to keep his cool composure. 

“I’m assuming you mean Xander,” she pointed at the man who was standing right behind him. 

“Yes,” he confirmed. “That you might’ve started a little bit of drama in the canteen today?” He bit his lip as he waited for her answer. Sometimes it took a second for the gears to turn.

“No, I don’t recall. I left lunch early how could I have started a fight? What are you telling him Xander?” She swung another punch at her punching bag, assuming their chat was pointless now.

“No, no, you uh, you told Major Maxon to shut up.”

She paused for a second before letting out a single laugh. “Oh! Yes I do recall that. He’s the one who wears those funny glasses.“

“There’s no need to call them funny, Schaeffer. We both think that was a little uncalled for,” he gestured between himself and his partner. “You should go apologise for snapping at him. You aren’t building a good rapport with your platoon, Colonel.”

She swung another hit at the bag, much harder. “I don’t need a rapport, he technically has to listen to me whether he likes me or not, it’s just the rules and we should all follow them.”

“Don’t be ate up, Schaeffer,” John tried to level with her. “Look. You really upset him. How would it make you feel if I told you not to talk about that western film in the rec centre you really enjoy?” He prompted. 

“I would feel fine,” she declared.

“Okay. Okay. Wrong phrasing. What would you want to do if I told you that?” 

She huffed, throwing another punch. She waited for the chains to stop rattling to give her answer. “I would want to take it outside. But I wouldn’t, because you’re the General. And also I wouldn’t talk about it if you were busy.” 

“Yeah you see? It would make you get angry,” Xander cut in when he saw how poorly John was handling it. “So why don’t you just go find Major Maxon and tell him you didn’t mean to cut him off. You just don’t like having people talking right into your ear. That’s all you have to say.” He figured if a script was provided Schaeffer would have a lot less trouble with it. 

She let out a sigh, glancing at John for him to confirm. “Is that an order?” 

“It shouldn’t be, but it can if it has to,” he stated, stepping aside to free up an exit. 

She heaved a sigh, grabbing her gym bag off the benches. “Affirmative, General.”  
———————————————————-

“Uh, sir- I mean ma’am, miss Schaeffer- colonel, you asked me to come by your dorm?” Maxon was playing with the arm of those dumb glasses. She had never seen him without them. 

“Yes, it’s 9pm why are you wearing those glasses?” That’s not what she was supposed to say but it came out very quickly. “It’s dark outside. Can you see?”

He nodded. “I can, ma’am! Is that what you wanted to know? I have a spare pair if you want to try them on to see. They really don’t cause me any problems.”

“You talk a lot,” she grumbled, leaning against her own door frame as she tried to remember what Xander had said, but she was losing her temper again. “No. I wanted to say,” she tried to make it into a sentence. “That at lunch it was not very fair of me to-“ she bit down on her tongue, her eyes lifting up so she didn’t have to make eye contact with him. He was tall though, so that was no easy task. “Get your ‘s’s and ‘r’s confused.”

“Oh!” It took him a moment. “BTR and BTS?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Those ones,” she grabbed onto her door handle now to signal she was going to close the door. 

“Ohh it’s okay! It’s fine! People get them confused all the time when I talk about them. Oh, did I tell you? Big time rush had a TV show too, it wasn’t just a band. To remember you can always say that the R in BTR stands for reality, like reality tv because they were a real band. The TV show wasn’t reality but you know it’s a kind of TV show genre but I just came up with that just now so if you give me a couple of minutes I can probably think of something better,” he waved his hand like he was playing it off, and he spoke at a million words a minute. 

Schaeffer held on tighter to the door frame, any and all of that going right over her head. “That’s great, Major,” she slapped a hand to her doorknob again. “Welp.”

“And then you can say that the ‘S’ in BTS stands for singer, because while they both sing, they don’t have a TV show, do you get it? Hold on. Do you have a computer in here?” He walked right past her, making a bee line for her desk chair. “Oh wow. You have the whole dorm to yourself? No roommates or anything?” 

“No. I’m the only female colonel- I don’t like other people being in here,” she hoped that was blunt enough to kick him out. Technically as a superior she was supposed to be open to helping other people so she couldn’t just kick him out. But he was really testing her temper. “My computer is in my office.” 

“Oh. You don’t have a computer? That’s fine. I have my phone and I’m all finished work for the day so I’m allowed to use it.” He whipped it out of his pockets, pulling a chair over to Schaeffer’s bed side and patting a hand to the mattress. “Come see, I’ll show you. They have way different music styles.” 

She sat down in defeat. She couldn’t really kick him out, and she couldn’t tell him to shut up again since that was what had caused this trouble in the first place.   
She glanced up at the clock, 9.10. Fifty minutes until curfew, fifty minutes to go. Surely he couldn’t talk for that long. “Major,” she cleared her throat. “Can I help you with something?” She rested her elbows on her knees, pressing her fingers together as she held them to her lips. “Can I do something for you?”

“Huh? No it’s fine! Look, see this is what I’m talking about listen to this-“ he selected a song off his phone, and it started to blare.

She really didn’t know how to react, entirely nonplussed. She just hoped the people in the dorm next to her wouldn’t be able to hear it. 

“This is big time rush, do you like it? This is my favourite song anyways. Oh well, it’s hard to choose, either this one or this one,” and then he selected a different song, which was very different to the last one. 

“Is this the other one? Big time singer?” 

He burst out laughing, slapping his knee. But he could barely laugh for a few seconds before he erupted into another explanation. “No, BTR is big time rush, BTS is Bangtan Sonyeondan, the S for singer was just a mnemonic device, sort of!”

“I don’t even know what that word means, Major. New-what? Look- ugh. Okay. Really great music kid, but-“

“Oh you like them!” He gasped. “See, I thought you might. You should show me what music you like sometime, I’d love to listen! I’ll show you BTS really quick maybe you’ll like them too, hold on!” 

And as Schaeffer sat there through another round of songs she just wasn’t sure what to do. She couldn’t talk over the song with how loud it was playing, and she couldn’t just stare at him, but staring at the phone would only imply she was interested. So she settled for staring at the clock, drowning out Maxon’s voice with the occasional lyric he would sing along too like he just couldn’t hold down the excitement. 

She watched every single second tick by. And she couldn’t believe how long it took for time to pass. Every word and song and ramble of exposition was pointless to her, and she certainly wasn’t listening. She had swapped to finding some General Mcnamara approved way of telling him to get the hell out of her dorm room but she could barely get a word in during those rambles that really never seemed to end. 

And as the minutes kept crawling by she could almost feel her brain giving in. She couldn’t think of anything, not with how loud Maxon and the music were. She was starting to hold a real grudge against that clock. Part of her wanted to reach up and grab it off the wall and throw it out her window even though she knew around PEIP that was practically sacrilege. 

Oh my god. Was she going crazy? 

“What- what’s happening. This is a girl singing now,” she interrupted him, and she was fairly sure he didn’t catch the first half of what she said. “I thought this was a boy band.”

“This is Katy Perry,” he paused the music so Schaeffer wouldn’t miss it as she spoke. “Oh, sorry. I should’ve made it more clear I was swapping over. Yeah, she was big around the same time as Big Time Rush but also she’s still kinda pretty big, don’t you know her?”

“I don’t own a phone,” she gestured to her empty hands, her jaw kind of dropped in shock. She turned back to the clock. 9.24. Thirty six minutes left to go. Holy shit, this must be some sort of torture. This was Mcnamara getting back at her for every soldier she had ever argued with and every fight she had ever started, although she hadn’t started a fight in so many years! She was genuinely going through the seven stages of grief right about now, and he was still going. 

He just kept talking. Didn’t he need to breathe? Or drink? He had spoken more words tonight than she had ever spoken in her life she was sure. What the hell was going on? 

“I’m sorry!” She snapped. Is that what he wanted to hear? Was this all some sort of prank? Was it going to be over now? “Sorry for yelling at you at lunch time, and for everyone I’ve ever yelled at.”

“Oh, it’s no problem, colonel! I’m glad you aren’t angry any more! And I’m so happy you like this stuff! It’s so hard to get anyone else at the depot to listen to this sort of stuff, hey, do you want to hear my vocaloid playlist?” He gasped, distracting himself. “Oh my god, believe it or not I actually have a recording of this concert hatsune miku was at. Well not really ‘at’. She’s a hologram. She’s not actually real.”

She was convinced she was crazy. “She’s not real? Are you fucking with me?”

“Oh! Well she is real! But in the same way a cartoon character is real! They exist, they just aren’t a person. You get it? Look, you’ll understand. Let me just explain what vocaloid is to you okay?” 

9.30. It was only 9.30. Thirty minutes left to go. Thirty minutes of this. She jumped up from her bed, grabbed the clock off the wall and threw it to the ground. “Maxon!” 

“Yes, colonel! Why’d you do that?”

“Maxon, I’m literally seeing red. Do you understand?” Her chest was heaving, and she couldn’t even glare at him because he was wearing those stupid glasses and every time she saw them she wanted to laugh. “Major!”

“Oh, really? That doesn’t sound good, colonel.” He paused the music, standing up and tucking his phone away. “Come with me, I’ll take you to the med bay,” he offered, holding out an arm.

She shook her head, “no, no,” her heart slowly calming down. “I think I just need to sleep it off okay? Yeah. It was a hard day, I have to go to sleep.” Finally, an out. An out of this hellscape. “Good night Major.”

“Yeah, you get some sleep! Good night, colonel. I’ll show you the concert when you’re feeling better okay! I’ll remember for you! I hope you feel better in the morning!” And with a polite dip of his head he practically skipped out of her room. 

She clutched a hand to her forehead. She had not experienced such a roller coaster of emotions like that ever she didn’t think. 

There was a loud thumping at her door.

“Go away!” She ordered, walking up to the wall just to rest her head against it. 

“Hey, Schaeffer,” her door opened anyways, and Mcnamara was standing there with a sly grin on his face. “See? Look how happy you made him by apologising. It sounded like you two were having fun in here!” 

“Did you know this was going to happen, John?” She stormed up to him to face him. She wanted to grab him by the collar so badly right about now. She almost felt like she was shaking. Almost. 

“Well jeez, he just likes you Schaeffer!” He promised her. “And that’s not a bad thing. It’s great to build up a rapport with people in your team. I bet you two would make a very good duo out in the field,” he encouraged her. But praise from the general would not be enough of a reward for coping with it this time. “See? That wasn’t all that hard was it? Good night, colonel. Get some rest.” He saluted her before walking back off down the hall in the direction of his own room. 

“Hah,” she scoffed, slamming her door. “Not that hard?” She stared at the smashed clock on her floor. “Not that hard.” She cracked her knuckles after she set the clock back up. “Oh I’ll show you a thing or two about building a proper rapport.”   
———————————————————

When she came to breakfast the next day, she grabbed a seat in her usual spot, right at the end of the table so she could only have one person talking in her ear at a time, and it was exactly who she was hoping to see.

“Morning, Major Maxon,” her smile was not forced however, but that was not to say it came without cruel intention. “Did you have a good night?” 

“Oh yes, I did ma’am! But how about you colonel? Did you sleep alright? You looked a bit sick last night so I was worried!” 

She gave a small chuckle, facing him head on by turning in her seat, “you know what Maxon. I am doing so great this morning. I spoke to General Mcnamara last night, and I couldn’t help but tell him about all that great stuff I had learnt,” she slapped a hand down on the table in a counterfeit of excitement. “You know, all your cartoon singers and your BT’s,” 

“Haha, she’s a hologram, Schaeffer! A digital singer, I didn’t get around to explaining it! And there are two different bands, they’re-“ 

“Great!” She cut him off. “And General Mcnamara, Yeah, of all people I know!” She jerked her head over in the direction of where the General was sitting this morning. When he turned, she gave him a gave him a friendly and in-no-way malicious wave and grin. “He said he’d just love to see that concert recording you had.” She gave him a pat on the back and pointed at Mcnamara again. “So why don’t you go show him? He’d love to hear all about it.” 

He gasped, his face lighting up with excitement. “Oh really? He actually said that?” 

She nodded. “Yeah! Affirmative, Major. Go on then, no time to waste. We only have a very, very short hour before work starts. And I’m sure the time will just fly by.”

“Oh, thank you, Colonel Schaeffer! I think I will!” And with that, he grabbed his food tray and hurried off to go find the General. 

She snorted, and took the first bite of her breakfast in peace. 

Yeah. She’d love to see John call it ‘not that hard’ now. Only fifty eight minutes of breakfast left to go.


End file.
